


Revas Surana (All-mage playthrough)

by Emrys_Ace



Series: Dragon Age oneshots [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28241949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emrys_Ace/pseuds/Emrys_Ace
Summary: A series of oneshots for my all-mage playthrough Warden, Revas Surana (who is nonbinary, he/they).
Relationships: Zevran Arainai/Male Warden
Series: Dragon Age oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849870
Kudos: 2





	1. Revas Surana introduction

Origin: Circle of Magi  
Class: Mage (Spirit Healer, Shapeshifter and ? specialisations)  
Romanced: Zevran  
Choices made:  
Orzammar - Anvil destroyed, Bhelen made king  
Circle - Circle saved  
Brecilian Forest - helped Dalish and werewolves  
Redcliffe - saved Redcliffe and Connor  
Urn of Sacred Ashes - did not defile the Urn  
Landsmeet - executed Loghain, made Alistair and Anora joint rulers  
Final battle - used Morrigan’s Dark Ritual, so both Wardens survived  
Awakening - not yet completed

[will post a full description here once I've completed the last 3 DLCs]


	2. Innocence Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little conversation I imagine happening between Revas and Zevran after the Urn of Sacred Ashes quest

>   
> I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough  
> To hold the door shut  
> And bury my innocence  
> \- ‘Eight’ by Sleeping At Last  
> 

There was an air of jubilation about when they returned to the party camp. They had a cause for celebration, after all- Arl Eamon was saved. Hope was not lost.  
Yet, as Revas sat down near the campfire, they felt a subdued mood- from both Alistair and Zevran. They must still have been pondering over what the Guardian asked them in the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Wynne herself was quiet, but did not seem as affected by what she had been asked.  
Revas themself tried not to dwell any further on what they’d been asked. A small part of him may have felt like he failed Jowan, that there must have been something he could’ve done to prevent what happened. But he was sick of the guilt. They had no part to play in Jowan’s choice to employ the use of blood magic. While Revas might have believed that not everything about blood magic was wrong, they knew that what Jowan had done with it was.  
Glancing over at Alistair, they saw the man they’d come to see as a brother sitting hunched, staring at the fire. He was wringing his hands over and over, frowning. Revas wanted to go to him, to comfort him, but a part of them felt they should leave him alone. They’d talked before about what had happened at Ostagar, to Duncan and Cailan. Alistair needed this time alone, to grieve.  
But Zevran... Revas turned now to look at the assassin, seated across the campfire from him. The frowning lines in his face were more pronounced by the light of the fire, somehow only making him more attractive. Their mind lingered on that...  
They had flirted a few times, sure. But for all Revas knew, Zevran saw this as purely a casual thing.  
Still, Revas decided they should check on him.  
They stood, trying to calm their rising pulse, and made their way to the other side of the campfire. There was room on Zevran’s log, so Revas sat down, making sure to leave a respectable distance between them.  
“Hey.”  
“Hello. What can I do for you, my Grey Warden?”  
“Nothing, I... I just wanted to talk. About what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes- what the Guardian said.” Revas dared a glance at Zevran, who’d frowned again at their words.  
“I... don’t really want to talk about it. Sorry.”  
“No, no, that’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything. I’m sorry for asking.” Glancing down, they rubbed their hands together, trying to let in the warmth from the campfire. “It just made me think, that’s all. That you haven’t had an easy life either. And I think we’re both really similar in that respect.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“We were both taken when we were really young, against our wills. Taken into an organisation that we never asked to join, and that we thought we’d never escape from. Me, the Circle, and you, the Crows. Of course, I wasn’t taught to murder people, but living in the Circle, both as a mage and an elf, was never an easy life. We didn’t want to be there, but the penalty for escaping would be death- or worse, Tranquility.  
I just think that’s something we can both relate to, you know? We had to learn to grow up quickly.”  
“Hmm. I see your point. It is true, I suppose. I have never really given much thought to it though. But it is nice, I think, to have something we can both relate to, yes? That, and that we’re both devilishly handsome, of course.” The frown on Zevran’s face was replaced with a smirk, lifting Revas’ heart.  
“I... thanks.” Revas couldn’t help the grin. “Handsome too, of course.” 


	3. Fixed From The Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Zevran tells Revas about what happened with Taliesin and Rinna, they decide to share some trauma of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: talk of transphobia and sexual assault.
> 
> I couldn't decide which Sleeping At Last song to use here (because I consider so much of their music to fit Revas and Zevran's relationship), so I took the title from 'Taste' and the quote from 'Two'.

> I just wanna build you up, build you up  
>  ‘til you’re good as new  
>  and maybe one day I’ll get around  
>  to fixing myself too  
>  \- ‘Two’ by Sleeping At Last

After another passionate encounter, Revas and Zevran lay side by side in the assassin’s tent, catching their breaths.  
When Revas tried to slow their breathing to listen for any sounds outside, they could hear nothing. He had no idea how late in the night it was- it had to be well past midnight, at least. He half hoped everyone else was asleep, but from what Wynne had previously said, it was more likely that the rest of their companions were laying awake, thankful that this tent had finally quietened down for the night.  
Revas stole a glance over at Zevran, who was staring straight up at the ceiling, a relaxed expression on his face. Even though Revas had long since lost count of how many nights they’d spent together, they still felt a little awkward about watching the other elf’s face when he didn’t know they were looking. They tried to focus on something else, on a different patch of the tent ceiling, on what little moonlight was peeking through the gaps in the canvas. But they weren’t as tired as they usually were after this point in the night- no, their mind was active.  
It was something Zevran had told them earlier in the party camp, that had been weighing on Revas’ mind ever since- about what had happened with his former fellow assassins, Taliesin and Rinna. The disastrous and traumatic event that had made Zevran suicidal and driven him to seek death at Revas’ hand. Revas was still both shocked and touched that Zevran had apparently trusted them enough to tell them about it- he understood just how awful it must have been to Zevran, and that the other elf had told them everything... They’d never expected to find this unspoken mutual trust with him, and though they didn’t yet know how Zevran felt, Revas knew that they’d seen him as something more than a casual affair for a while now. And so, as a form of repayment, Revas felt the desire to share their own trauma. It was something he’d told no one, not even Alistair. But he trusted Zevran, he wanted to tell him. Perhaps a part of them hoped by sharing the things that had weighed them down for so long, maybe they’d both be able to find a way to heal.

“Zev.” Revas broke the silence, trying to keep their voice steady.

“What is it, my Grey Warden?” Zevran finally moved his gaze from the ceiling, shifting in the bedroll to look at Revas. With the full gaze of the other elf now on him, Revas was even more nervous than before.

“I...” They hesitated. There was a hint of concern in Zevran’s eyes when Revas didn’t continue. What if- what if Zevran didn’t understand? “There’s... something I want to tell you.”

“What is it? You seem...nervous.”

Revas took a deep breath,  
“It’s just...I keep thinking about what you told me earlier. About what happened with Taliesin and Rinna.” At the mention of their names, Revas could’ve sworn they saw pain flicker across the assassin’s expression. “I understand that that was such a traumatic event for you, and I’m...touched, that you trusted me enough to tell me that.”

“Yes. I don’t know what it was. I suppose, we have spent so much time together- you spared my life, you welcomed me into your little party. Perhaps it goes against my better judgement, but I trust you.” Zevran replied, not taking his gaze off Revas’.

“I keep thinking about how... raw it must have been for you to share something so personal. And I... I wanted to share something of my own. It is something I have shared with no one, not even Alistair, who is like a brother to me.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Revas. Only if you are comfortable with it.” One of Zevran’s hands twitched, as if he’d had the urge to lay it on Revas shoulder to comfort them.

“No, I...I want to. You said yourself earlier, it was good to share what happened, to talk about it. Since you’re my...” Revas paused. He wasn’t sure what he was about to call Zevran. His lover? He supposed they were, but somehow the thought of saying that made it too real. “Since we have been so intimate with each other, I wanted you to know.”

Unable to bear the weight of the sympathy in Zevran’s eyes, Revas shifted onto their back again, staring straight upwards.

“Remember our first night together, when you asked me if I’d done this before?”

“Yes, I remember. You said you hadn’t.”

“Well, I... that wasn’t quite true.” It felt as if someone had dropped a ton of bricks on Revas’ chest. They couldn’t move, could barely breathe. “I hadn’t done it before- at least... not consensually.”

Revas paused, taking in as huge a gulp of air as they could. Out of the corner of their eye, they could see Zevran watching them, but the other elf remained silent, not interrupting them.

“Oh, why is this so hard?” Revas muttered to themself, grabbing a fistful of the blanket they shared, crushing it as tightly as they could in one hand.

There was a slight rustling sound, and Revas felt Zevran move closer. The other elf gently placed a hand on Revas’ arm in reassurance, and spoke softly,  
“You are safe here, Revas.”

There was a moment of complete silence in the tent, while Revas tried to collect their thoughts, Zevran remaining a solid support next to them.

“The templars’ official duty is supposed to be protecting mages, not only protecting others from us. But it seems that the majority of them have forgotten that. You could ask any Circle mage, and I guarantee they could tell you of at least one instance in which a templar has abused their power over them.  
Andraste said ‘magic shall serve man, and never rule over him’. It is not ruling to simply want the same rights as everyone else! To not be imprisoned our entire lives for something we were born with and did not ask for. The templars, they have the utmost power in the Circle, even though their official duty is supposed to just be guards and protectors. Their word is always taken over that of a mage. A templar doesn’t like you, they can report you for practicing blood magic and you’re made Tranquil, even if you’re innocent. The Chantry is so afraid of magic, they will not listen to the innocent.”

“That is wrong. That is so wrong.”

“Yeah. But no matter how much we try to convince the Chantry, they refuse to address it.” The fist clenching the blanket had gone numb with the force of it. “It was a templar.”

“A templar?”

“As I told you our first night together, I knew I was what Sten called ‘aqun-athlok’ before I was taken to the Circle. So when the templars came for me, they took me as a boy, and that’s what they only ever saw me as. I told almost no one in the Circle the whole truth. I don’t know how widely understood and accepted people like me are in this part of Thedas, but I didn’t want to take any chances in the Circle. The templars will look for anything they can use against you.  
As I grew up in the Circle, I worked hard secretly to adjust my voice, I never used the bathing facilities when others were around. I would bind my chest tight every day, only taking it off to sleep, and using magic to try and relieve the damage done by it. And when my monthly bleeds began- that was the hardest to deal with, I couldn’t leave any stained cloths around in case someone would see it and assume blood magic. I learned on my own how to clear it away with magic so that no trace was left. And some time after I had reached that stage in my maturation, I confided in only one other mage. It was getting too painful to continue binding, so I consulted a healer I trusted, and she aided me in a magical procedure that made my chest flat. It took a lot of careful planning to hide that from the templars.  
I worked hard, so hard to conceal all of that from the templars.” Revas’ clenched hand released the blanket, absentmindedly travelling up his body to caress the two scars on his chest, the only evidence of what had been there before. Their voice broke. “One of them found out anyway. I don’t know how, because I’d never told anyone but that healer. But I suddenly found myself one day cornered by the templar, alone on my way back to the apprentice quarters after a lesson.  
He told me that he knew my secret. He called me a... freak, an abomination. He called me unnatural, that I rejected the body the Maker gave me.”

Their breaths came in shuddering. Their vision had gone blurry with what Revas realised were tears. Zevran’s hand didn’t move from their arm, only tightening a little to reassure them that he was still there.

“He...he forced himself on me.” Revas’ other hand involuntarily reached for Zevran’s, and he clasped it as tight as he dared. “And then he threatened to have me made Tranquil if I dared to tell anyone.  
After the first time, I tried to find the healer that had helped me before. I couldn’t find her anywhere, and then I learned from an older mage that she had suffered ‘a terrible accident’ during an experiment. I had no doubt after that that it was her the templar had learned my secret from. He must have threatened or hurt her too, and then killed her afterwards, and staged it to look like an accident. I didn’t dare voice my suspicion aloud.  
The templar came again a couple of times more. And every time, I did nothing. I didn’t fight back, I didn’t call for help. I did nothing. I let him.”

“No, no you didn’t. You cannot blame yourself for not fighting back, Revas. He had threatened you. You did what you could to survive, don’t let anyone tell you you’re to blame for what happened to you.” Zevran spoke with such ferocity, as if he had once been in the same situation himself. Maybe he had.

Revas opened their mouth, unsure of what they were going to say, but no words came out. He tried to speak, but it was as if the ability had been taken from him. He curled into himself in an attempt to stop the shuddering that had started through his whole body, but to no avail. Zevran shuffled closer, wrapping his arms around Revas, and it was only when Revas felt the encompassing warmth of his companion that his last restraint broke. They didn’t even try to fight it as the tears came out, and just buried their head in Zevran’s shoulder.

\---

Revas had no idea how much time had passed when their shuddering breaths finally calmed. It could’ve been hours.  
They pulled their head from Zevran’s shoulder to look at the other elf. There was anger, sorrow and a fierce protectiveness in his expression as he moved one arm to brush away a lock of hair that had fallen in Revas’ face, tucking it behind their ear.

“I am glad you’re here, Zev. I’m glad it’s you, you know. Once I’d left the Circle, I had to keep reminding myself that I was free, that templars couldn’t get to me anymore. I had resolved never to let anyone in, never to be intimate with another, because I thought the templar had ruined it for me. But you- you were so gentle, you were so patient, the first time. You never forced anything on me, you made sure you had my consent every step of the way. I had never expected to be treated like that after what happened. But that first time, I started to think that maybe that templar was wrong. That I can have this.”

“No one should ever make you feel undeserving of pleasure. No one has the right to take that away from you. I may be a Crow no longer, but I will hunt this templar down and give him a slow death.”

“Thank you for the offer, Zev, but I don’t know where he is now. A couple of years ago, he was transferred to another Circle, for reasons I do not know. Part of me was relieved when he was gone. That I and any other mages he’d abused here would be free of him. But I couldn’t celebrate it, because now he’s in a different Circle, abusing different mages.”

“I wish there was something we could do, to make the Chantry see the through, to bring these templars to justice.”

“What we can do is keep fighting for our voices to be heard. Keep fighting for mages’ rights. I am no longer a part of the Circle now, I am a Grey Warden. Perhaps I will be able to do more to fight for those I left behind in the tower.”

“I will fight with you.” Zevran spoke firmly.

“Thank you. I don’t think I can thank you enough for this support. You have no idea how much it means to me.” Revas smiled, and it didn’t feel forced- somehow, they had the energy for it.

“No, I think I have an idea. You did the same for me. You listened to me, you understood.”

“Then I guess we do this together. We’ll fight together, fight for mages’ rights, fight for your independence.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Neither of them said it directly aloud, but in that moment, they both silently resolved to stand by the other’s side. Even though both of them still had a long way to go, even though they were still weighed down by their guilt, they were no longer alone.  
Slowly, and surely, they would help each other heal.

Revas drew Zevran in to kiss him, and not long after, the two of them fell asleep in their embrace.


End file.
